“We question all our beliefs, except for the ones that we really believe in, and those we never think to question.”

My father-in-law asks me about fitness all the time. 

But first, he tells me folksy anecdotes about how back in the day he “drank a liter of milk, ran 4 miles, then did yoga every 3 hours, lifted weights 9 days per week, and put on 40 lbs of muscle in 3 weeks.”

I could be right, and tell him that “**clears throat for arrogant effect…actually, that’s physically impossible”. But I imagine you’d agree, that’s not the right thing to do. 

The right thing to do is to listen to what he has to say, try to appreciate and understand his stories about what he used to do, what he believes made him successful in the past, and then, when asked about what he could do now at 75, respond appropriately with digestible and appropriate information. If I just shut him down from the get go, tell him he was wrong, and then drown him with my knowledge, I’d be 2 things;

1. An incredible arsehole. 

2. Completely ineffective.

The thing I need most with my clients is time. I’m not going to change anyone’s mind overnight nor would it be helpful to try. 

It’s not my job to dismantle what someone believes to be true and belittle what they believe made them successful, and expect them to believe my gospel instead. Fitness doesn’t need more zealots. 

Fitness needs coaches who strategically ask questions and pose the most appropriate challenge to the person in front of them. 

The example above might seem extreme. But we’ve all got beliefs we aren’t willing to question.

My job as a coach is to be an effective communicator. So you can see how telling you you’re wrong isn’t that.

Effective communication starts by appreciating where you’ve come from, understanding your beliefs, and strategically using my expertise to help you try more effective methods to reach your goals.

There will be those reading this who might think “well people should just be ok with being wrong, listen to the expert, and believe the professional”. While it would be simpler if this was the case - its not reality. So, we can either work with the cards we have, or we can complain about how it should be it and stay ineffective.