(Don't) "Listen to your elders"
The phrase “listen to your elders” was once a limiting belief of mine.
Older ≠ Wiser
I internalized this philosophical statement as “older knows better”, instead of focusing on the wisdom that comes with experience. It held me back from giving great coaching to people that were older than me in the earliest parts of my personal training career.
Guys would come to me with problems that I could help them solve, but I held both of us back, believing that because they were older, they knew better.
And they did.
They already knew they could lay off the booze a few nights per week.
They absolutely knew they could get to bed before 1am more often.
They were well aware that they could go for a walk now and again.
They knew all too well that they needed some work life boundaries so that they could live a life they enjoyed rather than trying to juggle everything and failing.
But they weren't doing it.
I remember the moment when I let go of this limiting belief for the first time. A guy asked me at 5:54am if he could move his session “a few hours” because he had a late night at work. This was the 3rd time he had asked, and I finally said “no”.
Saying no allowed me to;
Set my own boundaries (win #1)
highlight that there were consequences to not prioritizing his health/fitness as he had intended (win #2)
Start a dialogue that allowed us to discuss tactics and skills to solve this recurring late night of work problem (win # 3).
The result?
This fella hasn’t late canceled a session since. He still has to move a few sessions here and there, but he does it with intention, knowing he has upcoming responsibilities that will need shuffling to allow for both them and his training to fit.
To this day, I don’t hold myself back because someone is old enough to know better. I have built my career on helping guys of all ages transform their lives with simple health and fitness solutions that fit their lifestyle, needs, and preferences to great effect.
What's the take away for you?
Wisdom comes with experience, not time. If you do something 100x per day, you’ll be as experienced as someone who has done it 1x per day for 100 days. They’ll be older than you, but you’ll be just as experienced. Listen to the experienced.
Boundaries are necessary in your life. They are intentional separation between you and other things vying for your time. You can choose to override those boundaries (they aren't brick walls) but you need to make a decision to do so, rather than it just happening to you. Health and fitness won’t just fit in. You need to create time for it by becoming more efficient in some areas, becoming more effective in others, and becoming more open to moving things around to make this a life more worth living.
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