The words we use matter. By now there are many people, likely many of you reading this, that are 4 or so weeks into building a new habit, skill, or behavior that you value in 2022. This invariably means that soon enough, life, people, and other stressors will test the strength of that new behavior, and when that happens, I want you to try something.

Say “I don’t” instead of “I can’t”.

“I don’t” is a powerful statement and one that instills control and strength. You are in charge of the choice you are making.

Say you are working on a habit to not drink on the weekdays and a friend/colleague/partner asks you out to a bar (social gatherings, what a novel idea).

Imagine yourself saying “I don't drink on weeknights, how about we look for a time on the weekend to meet up” instead of the more classic “sorry I can’t drink on weeknights”.

The words we use can either strengthen our habits or weaken them.

“I don’t” is a statement that makes me imagine strength a like no other (like when The Avengers all fall from the sky and land in a variety of primal poses, smoldering, spinning hammers in tow).

“I can’t” makes me think of the scene in Cliffhanger where he yells “HOLD ON!!!” and the reply of “I’M SLIPPING” is whispered before she plummets into a cloudy ravine.

When that moment comes, and it will. Stop. Think. Use “I don’t” and see what happens/how you feel.

Bonus material;

In an upcoming article I’ll discuss the use of the phrase Add the phrase “I’m the kind of person that…” and how when layered with the use of “I don’t” it can become a potent recipe for self-efficacious, resilient, confident, and flexible boundaries that help us stay on track without damaging relationships or putting us in line for questioning.

If this piece made you feel like Thor then be sure to check in with my past articles in the “habits” and “mindset” catalogs.

Thanks.