How positive affirmation, self-talk, and growth mindsets set the stage for concrete habits and resilient behavior change.

The words we use matter, and I’d go as far as to say that communication with ourselves is arguably more important than how we talk to others.

How we talk to ourselves ("you don’t like parties Jay), the stories we tell ourselves (you aren't good at interacting with people at parties Jay), and the beliefs we develop to form from these words and stories (you are socially awkward Jay) can propel us to change or pull us deeper into stagnation.

I shared some examples with you there in the parentheses of words, stories, and beliefs I personally have told myself in the past. The more I have explored, researched, practiced, and shifted my mindset towards positive affirmation and self-talk, the more manageable and actually enjoyable social gatherings have become for me.

Nutrition and training;

It’s likely that most if not all of us have said something like “I’m not good at working out”, “I am addicted to ice cream”, and “I hate vegetables”. If not those specific things, then I doubt it will be a stretch to come up with your own version.

If it’s ok with you, I’d like to unpack those statements, suggest alternatives, and practice them to see how they can impact you more positively moving forward. Still here?

“I’m not good at working out” - “I’m committed to improving my health”

• “I am” is specific to you and in the first person making it more actionable.

• “Commitment” is an inherently positive word and is closely tied to long-term success.

• “My” makes gives ownership and autonomy to the subject and puts you in charge of your destiny in this field.

“I am addicted to ice cream” - “I enjoy ice cream as part of my life”

• “I am” is specific to you and in the first person making it more actionable.

• “Enjoy” highlights that ice cream is pleasurable and doesn't close the door to choice.

• “Part of my life” clearly states that it is key to your happiness right now, but also that there are many other things that sum up to the rest of your life and that ice cream is just part of that picture rather than being the sole focus of it (which addiction can often be).

“I hate vegetables” -“I prefer some vegetables more than others”

• “I” is specific to you and in the first person making it more actionable.

• “Prefer” allows you to change your mind and choose other vegetables without denying the reality that you do in fact dislike some vegetables. 

• “Others” gives you choice and puts you in control of your destiny to choose something that you prefer rather than being a victim of something you hate.

I implore everyone to start using “I am the kind of person that…” sentences in their day-to-day with yourselves, with your partners, with your staff, with your direct reports, and with your families.

Because positive affirmation, efficacious self-talk, and growth mindsets all set the stage for strong habits and resilient behavior change. Without them, we confirm our current fixed beliefs and change becomes more difficult than it needs to be.

Before you go;

What is one “I am the kind of person…” statements that you can try out this week? Reply to this email with yours.

Thanks!

If you would like to read more about his topic, here are 2 great reads;

1. My friend Dr. Lisa Lewis has written some amazing articles for trainers, trainees, and humans in general on this topic. I recommend this one here.

2. My colleague Jenny Rearick is truly brilliant in her field of communication. She has stacks and stacks of great articles but I would advise this one for those like me who are interested in how to be more socially flexible.